PARENTING TIPS FROM THE OLD EDUCATOR

Stand Back to Measure Achievement

 

For every new problem, there is an old answer out there waiting to be rediscovered. Like a ghost from the past, it whispers that others have been there before and a solution is close at hand.

 

We’ve all been faced with the proposition of compromising our position about something we care about. It’s sometimes tough making decisions and living with choices. Our peers judge us by our actions on difficult matters. Achievement is measured in different ways.

 

A summer project involved repainting a 12’ high red, white and blue light house. It was built around a dead Ash tree at the front of our property. The frame was anchored into the tree and then covered with treated lumber and plywood. After two years, the paint started chipping and the treated plywood was “bleeding” through.

 

The six-sided structure has a glass enclosed light at the top with a blue roof and side panels, highlighted with white stars. Painting where the red and white panels come together was a challenge. It was difficult not getting white paint on the red and red on the white. Painter’s tape helped but it wasn’t enough. I got more frustrated attempting to get a straight line with each application. Finally, I just decided to stop. Anyone looking for imperfection can surely find it. By my measurement, it will have do.

 

Arthur Radburn, former military leader, suggested, “Half the art of knowing what to do is to know when to stop. Some people continue pressing for perfection when they would be better off stopping sooner.” I would have been better off and less frustrated by stopping after the second attempt to get the red/white lines perfect. Besides, the people who “boat by” our place and use the lighthouse as a landmark, won’t notice the imperfections.

 

Half the wisdom of parenting is knowing when to stop. Some parents expect children to accomplish more than they are capable. Children may not be able to reach lofty goals established by parents. All A’s may not be within their grasp, but a “best effort” can be expected. The focus should be on praise and encouragement to do better.

 

Wisdom, compassion, virtue and common sense are like the four wheels of a wagon we place children in when taking them for a ride. We have to decide what to do with a wobbly wheel or one that falls off to provide the smoothest ride. Parents should strive to make the good in children better and their better best, while listening to the whispers of the past.

 

We should stand back and use a standard of measurement comfortable for both parents and children, while accepting imperfection. After several attempts at achievement, we ought to know when to stop and simply enjoy them for what and who they are.