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The Old Educator's Parenting Tips...from experience


The Old Educator's Weekly Column from the
Indian Lake Weekly Current

Volume 1 Article 21

PARENTING TIPS FROM THE OLD EDUCATOR AT THE LAKE

A Fine Line Exists Between Fear and Respect

Values, morals and character appear to be declining in our society. These guiding principles govern actions, determine how we interact with others and serve as a guide to self-judgment. They are the foundation for who we are and what we pass onto our children. If it’s true these beliefs are diminishing, what is become of them?

Neglected children are becoming a national tragedy.  It’s a mystery why some parents turn them loose for someone else to raise. Irresponsible parents are failing to instill family values, morals and strong character in children. They grow up one day to become less than what they could be.

No one seems to be concerned enough to address the deterioration of these guiding principles. It appears we’re stuck on “freeze frame,” and headed toward “self-destruction.” We stand back and watch the misguided do what they do. Misdirected parents are producing misdirected behavior in siblings.  Going into denial and hoping someone will come along to address the matter, doesn’t solve anything.

Children who know right from wrong and demonstrate caring attitudes will raise their children in a similar fashion. It’s unlikely basic values not taught in the home will be picked up on the street. Perhaps schools are the last hope? If this is the case, more options are needed by school officials to cope with difficult personalities.

The failure to correct unreasonable student behavior has resulted in the need for juvenile court intervention. It’s unfortunate, but they are needed in a few instances to coerce parents to do what they should. Attempting to change behavior, some parents have resorted to drastic measures and end up in court. The thought of being cited has caused them to be tentative and less assertive with discipline. It’s good the abusive have been confronted, but there is a downside. Parents have become cautious under the watchful eye of, “Big Bother.” Their authority has been eroded, never to be regained.

Children who live by the “Golden Rule,” function better in life and become effective parents. There’s is a fine line between fear and respect. Respect cannot be earned through fear but it’s possible to change behavior by using fear selectively.  Kids showing little respect and regard for others fear nothing, because they have nothing to fear.

So, the question remains; “Is it possible to change behavior through the use of fear?”  Additional options are needed to get the attention of the “fearless,” who won’t be held accountable. Every parent has used fear to alter behavior at one time or another, as you will see next time.


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