Are They Kids
or Teens?
Do you remember what is was like to
leave your elementary school behind?
Some kids are psyched; some are
scared. By being aware of the changes
at school and the changes within your
child, you can help make this
transition to his new school go
smoothly.
You may have
noticed that as your kids reach
adolescence, they seem more like
adults every day. Don't be fooled!
"Your child probably needs you more
now than at any other time," says Jan
Stocklinski of the Yale Child Study
Center. "Many parents see their
child's thrust for independence and
back away," Stocklinski says. This
decrease in parent involvement is a
mistake. The move to middle school is
an opportunity for your child to grow.
While you want to help your child
prepare for this challenge, you also
want to push him to be able to
negotiate things for themselves. The
involvement needed from middle-school
parents is different than before. It
involves supporting your child's sense
of independence.
Changes at
School
The structure and environment of a
middle school demands a higher level
of independence than elementary
school. Your child is going from a
protected environment to one where he
must be more self-reliant. This change
can be scary for you both.
Middle-school
students stay together for most of the
day and move from class to class for
different subjects with different
teachers. If your child is attending
junior high, he'll move from class to
class by himself rather than in a
group. In both cases, students must
remember their schedules and organize
their belongings with minimal help
from others.
"The
expectations increase in middle
school," says Sheila Jackson, director
of the Comer School Development
Program and Special Programs for the
Prince Georges County, Maryland,
School District. "Kids are expected to
manage six or seven classes; they're
expected to manage the homework load."
Often, they must deal with a
significant change in the size of the
school, too.
Your child
may worry about being able to open his
combination lock, grab his books, and
still make it to class on time. Judy
Bippert, a professor of education at
San Diego State University says this
is a typical concern. Kids worry that
they're not ready for the added
responsibilities that this year
brings.
Get to
Know the Teachers
Your child is going through changes,
and so will you. Your relationship
with your child's school also changes
at this time. In elementary school,
your child probably spent most of the
day in one classroom with one teacher.
The teachers have 20-30 students on
average who they get to know fairly
well. In middle school, while there
may be a "homeroom teacher," students
see 4 or 5 teachers a day -- and each
teacher may see more than 100 students
each day.
To keep track
of what's going on at school, get to
know the administration and teachers.
Take an active part in getting to know
the teachers who are in daily contact
with your child, and stay in touch.
Get a copy of the school calendar,
class outlines, and advance homework
schedules, if possible, and make
certain you're getting your child's
report cards.
Pester
Her!
What's the best way to stay in touch
with your kids during this time?
Communication is the key to a great
transition. "Keep the communication
flow open," Sheila Jackson says. "Over
dinner or breakfast, ask questions
like 'What did you do that was
interesting today?'" Encourage your
child to describe what she did at
school and with her friends. A good
technique is to ask open-ended
questions, which require more in-depth
answers than "yes," "no," or the
ever-popular "nothing."
Remember that
as grown up as your child may seem,
she still needs your support. Take
your cue from her, but keep in mind
that her pushing you away is a normal
part of adolescence. What she really
wants -- and needs -- is for you to
stay involved.
Excerpted
from "Moving to the Middle," published
in National PTA's Our Children
magazine.