Moving Up
The move from middle to high school is
one of those times when your child
needs you most, but is often too
embarrassed to ask for support. You
may have noticed that your child is
beginning to push away from you. Try
to respect this. On the other hand,
it's important to balance a respect
for your child's desire for
independence with a very real need to
stay involved in his life and
education.
Starting high
school is a major rite of passage for
adolescents, says George White,
associate professor of educational
leadership at Lehigh University in
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and a former
middle-school principal. The social
and emotional fears that incoming
freshmen deal with can have a direct
impact on their academic performance.
Changes at
School
The difference in size of your child's
old and new schools can have a big
impact on her transition, says school
psychologist Sal Severe, author of
How to Behave So Your Child Will, Too!
Kids from smaller school districts may
face a kind of culture shock in large,
regional high schools. Larger class
sizes, more students, a bigger campus,
and teaching styles more focused on
the subject matter than the needs of
individual students can be difficult
for incoming freshmen.
"Parents
should expect schools to provide a
protective growth environment" for
incoming freshmen, George White says.
The developmental divide between
ninth-graders, who could be as young
as 14, and upperclassmen, who could be
over 18, can be extreme. Exceptionally
bright ninth-graders can end up in
classes with much older teens and may
be unprepared socially. "There's a
wide range of social development in
high school. What you have to have is
a socially safe place for younger
individuals."
Ninth-graders
also face a big step down in social
status, going from the top of the heap
in their previous school to the lowest
rung in high school. They arrive as
the new kids, the young ones, the ones
who don't know what's what and who's
who.
Tips for
Parents
It's important to keep the lines of
communication open with your child
throughout this period. White likens
this to the experience of learning how
to ride a bicycle. "When I learned to
ride a bike, my father ran behind me
with his hand on the seat. When I
could ride without his support, he
still ran behind me for a while."
Although your child is becoming
independent, she needs support during
the process that only you, as a
parent, can provide.
Sometimes
parent involvement drops off because
parents feel their children don? want
them to be around so much. "Kids want
their parents involved; they just want
them to be involved in a different
way," White says. For example, your
teen may not mind if you act as a
chaperone on a school trip, as long as
you ride on a different bus than him.
Parent
involvement can also take a number of
forms at home. There are plenty of
ways to spend time with your child and
get to know her friends. Suggest that
she invite her friends over to watch
movies or hang out. As the kids drift
in and out of the kitchen for snacks,
take the opportunity to ask your
child's friends casual, non-intrusive
questions to get a sense of who they
are, and to send your child the
message that you care.
Excerpted
from "School Transitions: Middle
School to High School," published in
National PTA's Our Children
magazine.
