High-School
Fears
Am I good
enough to make the team this year? Am
I smart enough to take AP Biology?
Those seniors seem so much older than
me! Each year of high school brings
new concerns for your teen. Follow our
suggestions on how to help ease those
worries.
Where Do I
Fit In?
Your teen is
most worried about belonging --
finding a group of like-minded peers
who will accept him and call him their
friend. These safe havens come in many
forms: sports teams, clubs,
extracurricular activities, and
friendship circles.
How Do I
Look?
What kids
wear and how they look is very
important in high school, and even in
middle school. Certain fashions and
brand-name clothing become the
uniforms for particular groups.
Hairstyles (and colors), makeup, body
piercings, and tattoos also give kids
both an individual and group identity.
There's
considerable pressure on girls to
emphasize their sexuality in the way
they present themselves and
communicate. For boys, achieving
average height and a sufficiently
developed physique by the mid-teens is
often equated with their masculinity.
Particularly
for mothers and daughters, sarcastic
or critical remarks about a girl's
appearance is shaming, harmful, and
puts an unnecessary strain on a
relationship that may be stressed
already. If it's tempting to comment
on your daughter's outfit or
hairstyle, try pulling back -- and
pulling out some of your own
high-school pictures instead. Besides
giving you both a good laugh, you can
use these photos to start a discussion
on how you both coped with anxieties
about your appearance. Pictures can be
a vivid reminder that Mom also
struggled with these same issues.
Am I Smart
Enough?
Academic
competition heats up in high school;
coursework gets measurably tougher,
homework gets much longer, teachers
don't spoon-feed kids. The challenge
is "Are you smart enough to handle all
this, on your own?" Remind your
teen that college acceptances are
based on many factors. Kids who
challenge themselves with difficult
courses and do well are considered
better candidates than students who
receive higher grades but take the
easiest classes. Freshmen grades are
not considered as relevant as grades
in later years. Assure him
that his study and test-taking skills
will improve. Encourage him to come to
you if he begins to become confused or
overwhelmed about any of his
schoolwork. Keep up with
the specifics of his coursework and
homework. Don't wait for his first
term's grades to find out how he's
doing academically. Tell him that you
will do whatever it takes to help him
succeed, including finding him a tutor
if necessary.
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