Extended Hand Better than Extended Tongue

It’s human nature to resist change. Even though it makes us uncomfortable, it’s never the change we anticipate that changes us the most. It is often thrust upon us requiring a concentrated effort to adjust our ways. Once we accept the idea an adjustment is needed, our mind is opened. When the mind is convinced, the body follows.

When we go into a new relationship, we have an unconscious need to create a fresh and different image. Teenagers put on their best face when going for an interview or on the first date. Older folks know they don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression. Sometimes it’s now or never.

Who among us wouldn’t like to have a fresh start doing better on grades in high school, another chance to work harder at making the All-Conference Team, or make the phone call that was never made. New adventures and missed opportunities claim our interest causing us to present a different edition of who we are. Regrets later in life will come from the things we didn’t do. The past haunts those who resisted changing their ways.

Change requires giving up one thing to accomplish another. Children don’t always have the wisdom or knowledge to know when to change. They need role models to show them the way. If we want to lose weight, we have to give up snacks and get up early to work out. Sacrifices have to be made. An adjustment in behavior and habits is needed. We convince ourselves saying, “If I do these things, I will be a better person.”

The hope of an attitude adjustment or losing weight is never a trickle-down effort. The desire springs up from within to reach predictable results of looking good, feeling better and broadening horizons. Actions come from having a positive mindset.

And so it is with children. The first step to initial change is to convince them an adjustment is needed. It’s tough getting them to do what they think is impossible. The decisions they make will shape their environment and determine who they become. Older folks are changed by critics; youngsters only need role models.

Young people respond better to an extended hand rather than an extended tongue. Sometimes emotions get in the way and complicate things. Many parents have a difficult time disciplining children. As a result, they fail to give earned consequences. Harsh words can upset parents more than a naughty child. A hesitant captain makes for a hesitant crew.

Effective parenting is about the past, present, future and getting children to adjust. They need a solid foundation and thought process to survive in a complicated world. One trick is to get children to reach goals believing they did it themselves. They will need encouragement to make adjustments and an extended hand within reach.